sự tự phát

She woke up at an hour past lunch–it was unusual for a morning person to get up so late. Her head pounded as the jackhammers beat the concrete to make way for a new road. What happened to me? I’m starting today rather unproductively I see. She checked her phone for the time. Geez. It’s this late already? A holiday was what she dreaded the most. All the work was in the office. She despised every unscheduled second. She forgot to plan for today, having stayed up late the night before because insomnia kicked in perfect timing, she tried her best to help herself get that much needed slumber. This is so unlike me.

It is so unlike her. Being the workaholic that she is, the unplanned holiday was just too much for her to accept. Today, as it seems, will be whatever comes to mind. Spontaneity. Ugh. I hate surprises. At the back of her head however, she hears countless friends telling her to live a little, to relax and just “go with the flow”–not everything has to be planned. I might as well accept my fate today since I started it ever so late.

She realized she hadn’t gone to the cinema for a while. She checked the schedule while still lying on her bed. Cool. A most-awaited movie was showing in 30 minutes time. Oh well, let’s just get on with it. She bounced out of her bed and showered up. In 10 minutes her bike’s engine was roaring and she was on the streets. Man, it’s super-nova warm today. She traversed the city streets to her destination. She got there 15 minutes ahead of the movie screening. She came up to the counter to find out the theater was full. I’m sorry ma’am the theater is full. The attendant at the counter said as the seating scheme was displayed on the counter’s monitor. Just my luck. This is why I hate unplanned days. She was pissed at herself for jumping onto her bike–she didn’t even think that it was a holiday and people would most probably go to the cinema. Oh wait ma’am, there’s only one seat left but it’s VIP. The attendant looked at her with that smirk that seemed to say, You better buy this over-priced seat now or else you would’ve gone here for nil. She thought for a second and sighed. What the heck. I’m already here. I drove on the asphalt road in 40 degrees heat. She paid the ticket and went to get snacks.

I really hope this movie is worth it. She thought to herself as she found her seat and sat down. She just sat there as the rest of the people flooded in through the entrance and settled in their seats. She was there nibbling on the snacks she bought while the theater lights were still on, she was just there, minding her own business, when a group of guys climbed up to the row she was in. Noise. Somebody shut the lights and start the movie. She just sat there, still, trying to enclose herself in her little bubble and not harming anyone, when one of the guys made a turn to her row and started edging himself onto the seat past her. Ugh. Of all the rows to be in. I sure am lucky today. A couple of noisy people to watch the movie with. Great. 

Her eyes were practically rolling as this group was deciding which seats they will sit in and the guy that was then standing right next to her seat kept on yapping about how they bought the whole row and telling his friends that he could choose any seat he wants. This isn’t even the row their seats are in. I’ll just wait for his friends to tell him he’s being stupid. She waited for the friends to tell the guy to get out of the wrong row but no one was speaking directly to the guy. They were all busy figuring out their seats as if it was a trigonometry deal. Oh for crying out loud. The movie will be starting soon. Her impatience got the best of her and then she spoke. I’m sorry. You’re in the wrong row. Your row’s back there. Her voice was sarcastically trying to sound neutral. Is that so? I’m sorry pretty. The guy beamed back a smile at her and excused himself to go back to the aisle. She couldn’t help but smile. It’s alright. Thank you. She replied back and couldn’t help but return that smile. What the hell is wrong with me? Being so friendly in a theater.

The guy continued to throw questions along her way and she responded every single time. The heck. Just stop answering him will you? He’s a stranger. You don’t talk to strangers. An epic battle of will was inside her. She couldn’t help but be surprised at herself. Could you get anymore spontaneous than this? The guy’s friend who was sitting next to her then spoke up. Hey, why don’t you just change seats with me? The guy was caught off-guard and was quiet for a second before resolving that it was better to just sit right next to her since they were already having quite the conversation.

The lights went out. Trailers rolled in. The conversation died. She tried to focus on the screen. The movie started. Well aren’t you cheerful now. She semi-scolded herself. There must be something about the snacks she bought that made her rather impulsive. No. It already started this morning. It started the moment I woke up late. Is this spontaneity, this impulsiveness going to last me the whole day? The movie unraveled. She was enjoying herself. She couldn’t help but glance at her side from time to time to see the silhouette of this random guy’s face. He just sat there, still as a statue. Focus on the movie, you. You came for this movie. Give your efforts some justice. She channeled her attention back to where it was supposed to be and let it stick to the screen.

Climax approached. All the foreshadowing now making sense. Conflict resolved. Resolution. Credits rolled. Lights turned on. She looked at the guy beside her, he asked her if she was doing anything tonight. Oh. I have this mini concert to go to. You’re welcome to join me. She said with a smile. What the? Did you just invited a stranger to tag along? He agreed to meet her at the concert venue. They got up from their seats and started walking to the exit. Hey, what’s your number? I might have to send you a message to get directions to the place. Without hesitation she took the guy’s phone and entered her digits. Oh. So you’re taking this all the way huh? Suit yourself. Her impulsiveness overrode her logic. I don’t care anymore. I’m just going to live it.

Both of them walked out of the cinema and parted ways. She was shaking her head as she walked to her bike. Oh boy, you’re going to regret this tomorrow. She started the engine and rode off into the distance.

True enough, there he was with his group of guys from earlier. Music filled the place. Heads bobbed along to the rhythm of the instruments. Through conversations yelled in between every note occupying the space in the venue, she got to know him more. When the music ended and silence began settling in, people left and went their own ways. There, between fading footsteps, chatter and random glances, stood him and her. Engrossed in conversation so endless it can conquer infinity.

She invited him to see the city. He obliged. Strange as this might be. I just want to live for tonight. I will throw away my doubts and risk it with this person. She walked with him through orange-lit streets, through sleeping shops, past still cars. They laughed and lingered by each other’s side. It felt safe. They let their feet take them everywhere. When they finally sat down, perspiring, catching their breath under the moon’s silver rays, she saw how beautiful his eyes are. They gleamed golden in the moonlight, in the pale orange lights.

They talked the night away, trying to know as much as they could, they were strangers to each other after all and both were puzzled as to why they decided to risk it with the other. Both said they felt pulled by the other and it was a surprise that it was like so. He’s so much like me in many ways. It’s a wonder how there could be such a person when it is believed that every person is unique. She wondered all through out that night spent with him.

The hours rolled on and it was time to let things come to a close as all things must end. We are strangers after all. This spontaneous day has to end at some point. She finally decided it was time to go home. It was obvious that she didn’t want the night to end.  It was simply difficult not to miss this person’s presence. He was not part of her system and neither was she to his.

So they moved to close this fateful night. She psyched herself that he will pop like a bubble to its demise, that she would wake up the next day and he would never appear again, but it was okay. Not everyone is meant to stay.

She said good-bye and turned to move forward to where home was. He said good-bye. She moved a few inches away from where he was when he called her. She stopped. He came up to her. I’ve been wanting to do this all night. He said.What? she asked. What? he coyly repeated with that smile of his. And then he repeated, I’ve been wanting to do this all night. He moved closer to her and leaned. Their lips met as if to seal that meeting. He pulled back and so did she. She smiled. This guy. She turned to walk away. Each step lighter knowing that it was all going to end. The day of impulsiveness was over. She did not look back.

She got home. Prepared for bed. Today was a good day. She closed her eyes and sunk into slumber. She woke up the following morning to the sun, its rays filling in the gaps of the window. Everything that happened the previous night was as fleeting as the wind itself. She stepped out onto the streets to start the day. She realized that the day of impulsiveness was necessary to shatter her life’s monotony and help her to start each day with an attitude to make space for spontaneity. Spontaneity, she found, was okay to live with. It’s just too bad that it was a one day thing. She went to work to get caught up in all the busy-ness.

In the midst of papers, meetings and computer tabs opened–her phone beeped in alert. A message bearing an unregistered number came into view, Hey. Thank you for last night. How have you been? I’ll talk to you later.


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