Day 29: Someone you want to tell everything to but are afraid to do so

“Secrets could never be rushed. They had to come of their own accord, on their own schedule. That way ,when they came , the offered themselves as a gift.” ― Donna Jo Napoli, Bound

Secrets–I wonder if I have any. I perceive my life as an open book. I am not afraid to answer any question just as long as the person I’m answering is prepared for what is about to come out of my lips. But isn’t it impossible, not to have one? I figured I still have a few but they are just sitting on my palms, ready to be taken by anyone who wish to do so. My secrets are quite obvious, they are out in the open acting normally so people wouldn’t even really dare ask me about them.

So when I think of this letter’s subject, who? Who do I want to tell everything to but can’t because of this fear of being exposed? Haven’t I already laid it all out there for people to see? What else is there to discover about me?

Maybe it’s not fear, but rather, the uncertainty of things that will occur after knowing. There is this mist covering the probabilities on the future of acquiring knowledge of someone.

Telling everything, at least everything I know about me and the things around me is something that couldn’t be done in a day too. So maybe this is how I should write this letter:

To you, random reader who happened upon my blog,

This letter is for you. If you read the long introduction at the beginning and have arrived here, I thank you. You have to know that I’m not really afraid to tell you everything–we have come to an age when privacy is wasted or rather waved around carelessly through selfies, food pictures, statuses online, etc. I couldn’t think of any person now who I’m scared to tell everything to so I resorted to writing to you because I do not know you and your first impressions of me are going to be through this writing.

Having said that you do not know me, you might develop this image of me in your mind by the way you read or by my photo which you can see on this page. I want to tell you to hold back judgment until you have known me, not just as a writer but as someone with different aspects and facets in her life. I am not afraid of criticism, you can criticize all you want and I do not care about what most people think because I do not live to please the people of this world.

I do care about you, the one who is reading this. I care about what you think because what I say may make or break or leave you indifferent. I care about you because well, I choose to. That is why I’m writing this blog, not for selfish purposes but to let people like you out there who are online how life is valuable and how every person is valuable.

Of course, my blog is all but a personal interpretation from experiences in my life. I do hope and pray that somehow, it may reach people who need a word of encourage, someone to relate to just to make them feel that they are not alone, that they never are.

Take care,

Lisa

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