Day 20: Someone who broke your heart the hardest

One of the memories that sticks to a person for a lifetime would probably be the time his or her heart was broken–the hardest. Greater than the physical wounds are the wounds of the heart, for physical wounds will heal, will scar and then will fade quicker than the wounds of the soul ever would.

But in this letter, I will write to someone who has broken my heart to make me whole. Instead of being devastated, I am thankful because if it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t have found out how broken I was, and would never have recovered ever.

Dearest Jesus,

I called, you answered. In my darkest moment, when I stood presenting a facade of a formidable tower, you struck me down and revealed how hollow I was. You broke me into a thousand pieces and revealed everything I have hidden–lies, curses, bitterness, sadness, my darkness. You shattered me and exposed everything to the light.

It was the most painful experience, all the shame, the guilt hovered over me and I couldn’t look into your eyes. I sobbed day in and day out. I mourned for my past, the person I have become. I cried my lungs out because every thorn in my body was being plucked out of me–they had become part of me, it was hard to take them away, though your hands got scratched and bloodied, you took them out, one by one, until they were no more.

The most agonizing experience ever–when you showed me my iniquities, when you let me face the real me–a sinner whose every inch of skin was covered in darkness. You wiped me clean, it was hard to take away the darkness that had made my skin its home–to scrub me clean, you had to do it with all you are. I felt the pain most excruciating. It was hard to let go of things I’ve been used to. It was hard to let you take them away. They had become precious to me, it was hard to give up on them.

Then in your refreshing waters you washed me clean. It stung when your waters reached my skin, tears flowed from my eyes–the most valuable tears I’ve shed for they were not of shame anymore but of gratefulness that you reached me in time, that you saved me.

Nobody can break my heart the way you did. Thank you for doing so. Because of what you’ve done, I am victorious. I am able to see, feel, hear and taste love at its finest and I am able to share it to people.

I love you Jesus.

With all I am,

Lisa

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