I know I could’ve written under this day’s subject long ago. I had a difficult time sorting out who I should write too. I waited for signs like dreams and flashback instances and there was even a point I considered, “Maybe I should just write to myself.” There are times I miss my former self. We change every single day. We aren’t the person we used to be when we look back in our lives. It’s kind of funny in a way because, what you used to love or like so much before isn’t that much of a big deal now. Your color preferences aren’t the same even the way you dress is far different from 5 or 10 years ago. So yeah, I figured I’d just write to myself but I wasn’t satisfied by the thought of doing so. This letter, it seems to me, requires a specific person other than myself.
So how do I define Missing Someone? For me, missing someone is feeling their absence in the middle of the day when you are walking down the street to your workplace. Missing someone is hearing a song and thinking of the person whom you wish was with you at that very moment. Missing someone is that moment you long for a presence that used to be with you. Am I missing someone right now? I am missing a lot of people. Living far-away from everyone else you love has its perks and let-downs–this is one of those not-so-good-let-downs.
Who do I miss the most? Well, you will find out as I knit my words into this particular letter.
I have to admit. I was a bit reluctant, a bit unsure of who I should write this particular letter to. I am feeling rather redundant. Some of the subjects for this project all point me to the same person. I guess, this is what missing someone actually is–the repetitive manner of someone’s face popping up in your head ever so often that it drives you nuts until you see them again or get to talk to them again.
Gosh. I must miss you so much.
Again, I write with you in mind. Again, I wonder why. Again I ponder the frequency of your face in my thoughts and in my dreams. What is up with that? Yes. I miss you.
The frequency of the times I talk about you gets higher as the days pass. I am far-away and all I can do is look out for you in cyber space and hope that at this very moment, you too, are wondering how you miss me so. I do wish with all I am that I am pestering your thoughts this very second, that I haunt your dreams and wake you up in the middle of the night. How could you torture me so?
The only remedy is the thought that we will meet each other soon–I will be able to see you across the room I’m at and sit next to you. I will get to walk with you side by side and laugh with you as we traverse the streets of the town. Soon. May the days pass by quickly until I see you again.
Please dear Lord, hasten the days and let me see him again.
For now, I sit still and dream out scenarios of our future meeting when I will be able to gaze into those eyes again from across the room, when I will get to walk with you side by side, when I will hear your voice without delay.
’til that one day soon,